Get all 14 Dwight Evan Young releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Fears of Broken [Body|Heart|Mind], Without You (Mr. Stark), Christmas of Want, Dark Tide, Chained to the Past, Always, In the Catacombs, Corned Beef Hash, and 6 more.
1. |
The Prelude
01:57
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The Prelude
Dwight Evan Young/Vince Rostkowski
It’s time to turn up the bass.
Bring the noise in!
Gonna melt off your face…
Keep it funky now!
But before we start, we hope you take heart
Of the proper instructions you’ll need to rock:
Don’t get up before noon.
You should take off your shoes,
And nail down all loose tables and chairs and clocks.
Ignore your neighbor’s complaints.
Eat bacon all-day, er’ry-day,
But please don’t eat a half-hour before you rock.
That’s not really a rule, that’s just kind of a suggestion,
Cause you don’t want to get a cramp, that would really ruin the whole experience.
Now you’re ready to rock.
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2. |
The Stock Market
04:50
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The Stock Market
Dwight Evan Young/Vince Rostkowski
Four years of college and plenty of knowledge
Have prepared me for nothing at all.
We’re home and we’re leaving,
We’re bruised and we’re beating
Our hearts up against a wall.
Tell me it’ll be alright;
The next ten years
Will be brilliant, the future’s so bright!
Remind me: this is just a game,
It’s not win or lose,
Because the story ends all the same.
Tell me, what am I supposed to do?
What comes next?
[CHORUS]
We’ll talk about grown-up things like cholesterol,
And beer and coffee.
We’ll talk about finances, politics, and married life.
Projects and papers, meeting and late nights on my cell phone talking to you
Talking about the stock market…
And boobs.
Everyone you ever loved was always right behind you,
But right behind you feels like miles and miles away.
Everything is up to you,
Successes and failures
Prepare you for lifetime anew.
But I feel so many years removed.
What comes next?
[CHORUS x2]
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3. |
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If You Want to Take the First Step...
Dwight Evan Young/Vince Rostkowski
One summer day
We will reminisce, and say:
“Remember life before all of our dreams
Ran away?”
We’d laugh and we’d play,
Tell tall tales every day,
Until the real world led us both astray.
I’m done wasting my time,
Done chasing,
These shadows down the dead-end streets in me.
Time to reclaim what is mine,
I got vision!
And I ain’t gonna let it be delayed.
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4. |
Killer Tofu
02:12
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Killer Tofu
Dan Sawyer/Fred Newman
Fast food feels fuzzy
Cause it’s made from stuff that's scuzzy!
I always thought I was such a nerd,
I refused to touch that strange bean curd.
I wouldn’t eat it (ow!) but it ate you!
[CHORUS]
Ah-ee-oo
Killer Tofu (Ee-ayy-ee)
Ooh-ee-oo
Killer Tofu
I eat my sugared cereal,
But it makes my teeth bacterial!
If you're feeling kind of cruddy,
Just stick right by your buddy,
And don't eat too much fried food.
(Yeah!)
[CHORUS]
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5. |
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Christmas of Want [Adolescent Lament]
Dwight Evan Young/Vince Rostkowski
Once again it’s Christmas time!
Everybody stand in line!
Malls are open, Gifts on sale,
Happiness to find!
Schools are closed in every town.
Everybody’s happy now!
Dinner with your family and
Snow upon the ground.
Christmas morning bright and vivid,
If I don’t get my shit I’ll be livid.
[CHORUS]
Christmas time is finally here,
Give a cheer, the family’s near!
Smiles stretch from ear to ear
For presents I’ve waited for all year!
Power Rangers, Super Soakers,
Ninja Turtles, Gameboy Color,
Captain Planet, Mighty Max, and
Hungry Hungry Hippos, and some Gak!
Creepy Crawlers, Laser Pointers,
Digimon, and Tamagotchi,
Pokemon, and Stretch Armstrong, and
Don’t forget a Talkboy, and a bike!
GI Joes, Nintendo, Playstation, Legos and Beenie Babies!
Star Wars, Batman, Crossfire,
An Ian Malcolm Action Figure!
Bop it, Skip it, give it to me I gotta have it!
Don’t disappoint me again…
[CHORUS]
Give me presents, I’ve been good all year for Santa.
[CHORUS]
Christmas time is finally here,
Give a cheer, the family’s near.
Smiles tend to disappear,
For presents I’ve waited for all year.
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6. |
Dayman
01:19
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Dayman
Charlie Day
Dayman (ah-ah-ah),
Fighter of the Nightman (ah-ah-ah),
Champion of the Sun (ah-ah-ah),
You're a Master of Karate
And friendship
For Everyone!
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7. |
The Three-Minute Hamlet
03:01
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The Three-Minute Hamlet
Adam McNaughton
There was a king nodding in his garden all alone,
When his brother in his ear poured a little bit of henbane,
Stole his brother's crown and his money and his widow,
But the dead king walked and got his son and said, "Now listen kiddo,
I've been killed and it's your duty to take revenge on Claudius,
Kill him quick and clean and tell the nation what a fraud he is."
The kid says, "Right I'll do it, but I'll have to play it crafty,
So that no one will suspect me I'll let on that I'm a dafty."
So for all except Horatio, and he counts him as a friend,
Hamlet, that's the kid, lets on he's 'round the bend,
And because he's not yet willing for obligatory killing,
He tries to make his uncle think he's tuppence off a shilling.
Takes a rise out of Polonius, treats poor Ophelia vile,
Tells Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that Denmark's bloody bile,
Then a troupe of traveling actors, like 7:84,
Arrive to do a special one-night gig in Elsinore.
Hamlet, Hamlet, acting balmy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, loves his mommy,
Hamlet, Hamlet, hesitating,
He wonders if the ghost's a fake,
And that is why he's waiting.
So Hamlet wrote a scene for the players to enact,
So Horatio and he could watch and see if Claudius cracked,
The play was called "The Mousetrap" (not the one that's running now),
And sure enough the king walked out before the final bow!
So Hamlet's got the proof his uncle gave his dad the dose,
The only problem being now that Claudius knows he knows,
So while Hamlet tells his mother her new husband's not a fit man,
Uncle Claude takes out a contract with the English king (as hitman).
Then when Hamlet killed Polonius, and the corpus was delecti,
Was the king's excuse to send him for an English hempen necktie,
With Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to make quite sure he got there,
But Hamlet jumped the boat and put the finger straight on that pair.
When Laertes heard his dad's killed in the bedroom through he arras,
He came running back to Elsinore tout-suite, hot-foot from Paris.
When Ophelia heard her dad's killed by the man she was to marry,
After saying it with flowers, she committed hari-kari.
Hamlet, Hamlet, no messin'
Hamlet, Hamlet, learned his lesson
Hamlet, Hamlet, Yorick's crust
Convinced him all men, good or bad,
At last must come to dust.
Then Laertes lost his cool and was demanding retribution,
The king said keep your head, and I'll supply you a solution.
So he arranged a swordfight for the interested parties,
With a blunted sword for Hamlet and a sharp one for Laertes.
And to make double sure (the old belt-and-braces line),
He arranged a poisoned sword-tip, and a poisoned cup of wine.
The poisoned sword got Hamlet, but Laertes went and fluffed it,
Cause he stabbed himself, and he confessed before he snuffed it.
Then Hamlet's mommy drank the wine and as her face turned blue,
Hamlet said, "I think this king's a baddie through and through."
"Incestuous, murderous, damned Dane," he said, to be precise,
Then made up for hesitating once, by killing Claudius twice.
Cause he stabbed him with his knife and forced the wine between his lips
Then he said, "The rest is silence," and he cashed in all his chips.
They fired a volley over him that shook the topmost rafter,
And Fortinbras, knee deep in Danes, lived “happy ever after.”
Hamlet, Hamlet, end of story
Hamlet, Hamlet, very gory
Hamlet, Hamlet, I'm on my way
And if you think that was confusing,
You should read the bloody play!
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